Lift Up

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” –Booker T. Washington

Parenting is tough. This is no surprise. However, many fail to realize just how difficult parenting during a divorce or custody proceeding can become. These times are much like experiencing a death in the family. In these situations, tensions run high, and, often, the personal stakes of the involved parties are high as well. Given these circumstances, it is understandable to get caught up in high emotions and act on them. Instead of acting on impulse, however, we recommend that you:

Stop,
Think, and
Lift your children up.

Lift them above the fray and focus on what is (truly) best for them. Sometimes, lifting your children up is as simple as refraining from making disparaging comments about your co-parent in front of the child. Children hear and absorb more than we realize. Sheilding them; lifting them up, protects them from unnecessary conflict and heightened emotions that may be too large for their little hearts and bodies to digest. In doing so, you will also lift yourself above the fray to act with resolve in every circumstance.

Please bear in mind: another’s violation of a court order, informal agreement, or memorandum of understanding is not a license to violate it yourself. Colorado law – not the Code of Hammurabi – governs family law in this state. When faced with a co-parent’s violations, you should focus on your energy on your child rather than tallying violations and getting even. Talk to your lawyer, when your child is not present, about how best to address violations from the other parent.

Moreover, divided parenting time requires a combined parental effort. In many situations, this involves co-parent teamwork for the benefit of the child. Co-parent teamwork can include, for example, clear and positive communication channels between parents. This particular type of teamwork leaves communications unencumbered, allowing co-parents to reach resolutions to issues previously thought unattainable. Best of all, truly cooperative agreements serve the best interest of the child and each parent. So, when faced with a less-than-cooperative co-parent, lift them up and form a team working for the best interest of your child.

Simply put, focus on being the best parent you can possibly be. In doing so, you will lift up your child above the negativity and tension. While raising your child up, you will also lift yourself up above the same negative emotions. Then, you can enter a situation with resolve to get the best outcome for your child. Becoming the best parent possible for your child also involves cooperative parenting. Your co-parent is still a parent and one of the most important influences in your child’s life. Instead of allowing differences to divide, open a clear line of communication between your co-parent and yourself. Therefore, you can both lift your child up and make the best of the situation. After some time, you may notice that it takes very little effort to act with the intention of lifting up your child, and your actions may begin to rub off, in a positive way, on the other parent.

Kinnett & Cordes specializes exclusively in family law and family law mediation. We can specifically assist you with complex divorce litigation, child custody disputes, child support modification and enforcement, non-traditional family formation and dissolution, adoption, and dependency and neglect matters. Call 303-968-1711 for your free consultation, today!